The Dark Show review.

Another month, another Dark Show. December’s installment of my monthly variety showcase of unusual live entertainment featured more acts than any to date. Some fine talent was exhibited for my fine audience.


I opened with my Dark Show theme song...followed by an unfunny monologue regarding the corpse of Celia Cruz. Few laughs...for good reason. I called my mom and she riffed a little on the slow pace of life in Corning, IA, earning far more laughs than my Celia Cruz bit. She introduced the evening’s acts again, and the show got rolling.

Crazy A was up first. A performed in last month’s show under the name Dr. Powernozzle, the sadistic vacuumer who tormented Eugene the Human Doormat. She has since split with Eugene to pursue her solo act. She performed one song only, a song called “Propaganda Pussy.” There are no recordings of this song, because any recordings would be outdated in a week. You see, the lyrics of the song change for every performance, highlighting recent developments in world and entertainment news. She referenced Dan Rather, Paris Hilton and others. It was a funny number, although I have yet to figure out why the word “pussy” is in the song’s title.

Next was BruthaInLaw Bob Weisberg. In October I first saw Bob perform a 5 minute set at an audition for a new Brooklyn comedy venue. He did about a 15-20 minute set at the Dark Show. Bob is a white Jewish guy married to a black woman. His material mostly focuses on their respective families’ reactions to their union. (“My wife’s mother is one of 17 children. Her father is one of 21 children. I’m related to more black people than Cosby.” “I didn’t know how my mother would react to the news that Francine and I had gotten engaged. I chose to break the news to her by saying: Guess who’s coming to seder.”) Bob is very funny...and a helluva nice guy.


Adira Amram was a big surprise. I mean...she had described her act to me, but without witnessing her act firsthand and with no mp3s to hear, I really didn’t know what to expect. She exploded into the room dressed in a black...uh...swan? dinosaur? ostrich? I’m not sure exactly what her costume/stuffed animal was, but goddammit, it was fabulous. She did three musical numbers, using a keyboard and her skilled voice and just killed the crowd. My favorite of her numbers was a sweet song of heartache filled with Mortal Kombat references. (“When I lie in bed at night, I keep hearing a voice that says...FINISH HIM!”) I loved Adira’s songs. She will certainly be returning to the Dark Show to deliver a longer set in the future.


No entrance on Wednesday night topped that of Oglesby. To the tune of “Boom Chakka Lakka,” 4 hunky boys in grass skirts and lais ceremoniously hauled a bamboo hut to the stage. Once in place, they stepped aside and Oglesby appeared before the crowd. Oglesby is a puppet. I know that in the world of magic, a magician never reveals his/her secrets. I’m not sure of the etiquette in puppetry, but I will assume that it is bad form to reveal a puppeteer’s identity when discussing his/her puppet’s act. The young creator behind Oglesby shall remain anonymous. Ogelsby is incredible. He’s animated, adorable, and a little bit crass. He did some material about cruising gym steam rooms, frequently pausing to brush his hair from his eyes. Oglesby’s puppeteer is very gifted, giving his creature life that perfectly captures the nuances of human gesture. Interestingly enough, Oglesby’s puppeteer tones down the “blueness” of his act to teach puppet-making workshops to children. Look for Ogelsby to also return to the Apocalypse one day.


Jen Dziura is famous. She’s like Spaulding Gray, except not dead. Jen returned this month to deliver the goods to a very hungry crowd. Jen reads her written works over slinky, jazzy musical numbers. One of her pieces this month revolved around a phony ad she had placed on Craig’s List. In her ad, Jen claimed to be an ugly woman seeking no-strings sex. Her piece was a reading of some of the responses she received from NY area men, stepping up to her challenge. Oh the humanity! Although not a bit surprised by the content of these pathetic, often graphic emails, I am surprised that I share a common chromosome with these would-be suitors. At the end of Jen’s set, she challenged the men of the room to approach the stage and compliment her to receive a free CD of some of her works. Many men rose, few showed class. Jen, however, is always a class act...lovely, thoughtful, whip-smart and charismatic. Hear an mp3 of Jen's piece entitled Seven Nights.


Curtis Eller recently returned from a tour of the UK. He’s a banjo picker, a songsmith, and a very engaging performer. He dresses in suspenders and sings old-timey numbers about serpent handlers, Lon Chaney, Buster Keaton, Amelia Earhart, and death. Since Mr. Eller uses no pickup for his banjo and no microphone, he is free to wander the room and give a very intimate performance. He walks on tables, he blows out candles, he lies on the floor. He also contorts his body into such unusual positions that he often reminds me of a life-sized, stringless marionette. Curtis brought the house down, and made a wonderfully theatrical exit from the room. P.T. Barnum would be proud of this young man. Hear an mp3 of Mr. Eller's song entitled Taking Up Serpents Again.


I closed out the show with a set of rap numbers. Clonefucker, Craig’s List, Night of the Living Christ, Black Metal Queen (per Ms Dziura’s request) and My Last Song. The show wrapped at about 11:30 as a very impatient group of djs and their groupies waited to start their DJ party. I had barely said “goodnight” and started to tear down my gear when one of these douchebags plopped a crate of records in my path and stood in my way. It reminded me of my rock and roll days when my band would play our last song and some impatient fucker would start hauling his drums onstage before I had even dropped my sticks. It’s rude...and it pisses me off. Give me 5 minutes next time, alright?

DJ Dead from the Apocalypse Lounge is a fine DJ, however. He spun records throughout the night to buy a little time for the set-up/tear-down between acts. I think next month, I’m going to have DJ Dead cue the music for the show’s acts also. I dropped the ball a couple of times for my acts’ cues, because I was trying to do too many things at once. DJ Dead shall continue to be a part of the Dark Show lineup. Goddamn...I oughta get that guy a microphone.

S and I caught a cab back to Astoria with Curtis Eller and a fella named Gary. Sleep came easy. The booking for January begins now.

-STD